The prevailing wisdom has been that good parents provide for their children. This notion has become very popular, especially in the current society that places a lot of value and meaning in material success.
The parents therefore work hard to put food on the table, clothes on their backs and a roof over their heads. But is that really all it takes to be a good parent? Is providence justification enough for good parenting?
It has become a norm for most families to have both parents working in the contemporary society.
This is mostly due to the high living standards and the need for a sense of independence for the contemporary woman. However, parenting while working is hard, especially when the children are still very young.
This has led to most families opting to hire househelps who care for the household so that the parents , especially the moms, have an easier time working.
This was okay until the househelps slowly got to play the role of parents in the young lives. Parents are now busy chasing the bag so that their children never want for anything. This is ironical because the children grow up lacking parental love and care. It is therefore at their expense and yet they are supposed to be the beneficiaries of the hard work.
The children are left in the care of the househelps from as young as months. They grow learning even the basic things from the major caregiver. This means that the behaviour and attitude of the child depends largely on the househelps.
A quick question to dear parents. When did you become so comfortable? The helps are now the ones to be asked if the children did their homework. They know your own children better than you do. Some children are also sent to boarding schools at a very tender age.
Children need their parents.
Some of the children get abused or molested at the hands of their caregivers. Most cases go unnoticed by the busy parents or are realised at a later time.
The social media has had viral videos of children being abused by the househelps or relatives. But these are just the few that got caught.
The current youth is depressed, scared and angry but with no proper outlets. They have no sense of security and emotional attachment to their parents.They are therefore facing their issues alone. Some parents cannot even talk to their children about the sensitive but important topics about life, such as sex and relationships.
For some, the girls get sent to the househelps to guide them when they reach puberty and start menstruation. Imagine having that uncomfortable conversation with someone who is not your parent or guardian.
According to some experts on child psychology, providence is not enough. They argue that providing for your child’s material needs is important but it is not enough to ensure that they grow up healthy, happy and successful.
Parents must therefore shift their focus from providing to developing a deeper connection with their children. They should foster their emotional and social development and provide them with the tools they need to succeed in life.
### By Maryline Josephine, Student ~Rongo University